Meet the Marriage Killer

Read an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal today that every married couple should read. It deals with one of the more toxic events that can happen in a marriage: nagging. Usually, a person doesn't set out to nag. It is born out of the insecurity of one person and the lack of responsiveness from the other. The two dysfunctions feed each other leading to a bad dynamic within the marriage.

The article does an excellent job of describing why it can become so devastating to a marriage. Nagging can reach a point that arguments focus on the nagging, and the underlying reason is forgotten. Of course, when that happens resolution becomes much more difficult.

Scripture speaks about the issue of nagging.
Proverbs 19:13 "A foolish son is destruction to his father,
And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping."

Proverbs 27:15-16 "A constant dripping on a day of steady rain
And a contentious woman are alike;
He who would restrain her restrains the wind,
And grasps oil with his right hand."

How does a couple short-circuit the issue of nagging within the marriage?

For the person doing the nagging:

• Be careful about your tone
• Cut down on how often you bring up the same issue again
• Figure out why you may be insecure and feel like you must constantly be speaking about an issue 
• Remember, not everyone is organized and driven: somethings can wait

For the person who is being nagged:

• Be responsive to your spouse: take care of the issue or tell them why the issue has not been acted upon
• Don't be so laid back that you let things remain undone, which hurts the spouse who is highly organized
• Even if the tone is not pleasing, be sure to discover the truth and need behind the request

Finally, the words of Ephesians 4:21 are critical for keeping a marriage healthy: "be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."