I have been "sitting" on this book for about 3 weeks. The point of the book is that people are made for relationships, need relationships, are starving for relationships, and the church and small groups is the best means of meeting that need. The reason I held back on this book is that I could not shake this feeling that some of the things in the book were "off." More about that in a moment.
First, the strengths of this book. Randy Frazee does a very good job of laying out the biblical and sociological argument on the need for community. He does a good job of presenting the theological argument for community, and does a great job of presenting a study on culture and society to demonstrate how our culture has changed. He uses various studies and authors to present how the United States culture became more fragmented after World War 2. If you want a good, brief overview of "what happened" in regard to community, this would be a good resource.
Frazee argues that in order create community, a person needs a common purpose. Within the church and small groups, the author cites how his church uses the study of 30 theological truths on which to focus everyone on the same target. For anyone wanting to know what are some of the critical components of the Christian faith, these thirty are a pretty good starting point.
It is at this point that the nagging doubts about the book crept in. The "solution" to creating community is just unrealistic in our culture in general and South Florida in particular. Obviously, there are adjustments to lifestyles that need to be made to creat community. One cannot expect to do the same thing you have always done and get different results. However, Frazee goes so far as to suggest that people should either pick jobs very close to their home, preferably within walking distance, or move to a house closer to work. The idea being that you need to limit your travel as much as possible and spend it in your neighborhood.
Short of a cataclysmic change in our culture, this is not happening. It is an unrealistic expectation of people to structure their lives around where you live on this lone principle. I understand his premise of being purposeful of spending time in your neighborhood and investing yourself in the people in that area, his solution is not viable.
What this should create in us is an intentionality in how we spend our time. If possible, do your shopping locally and build relationships with the workers and owners in these stores. Spend your leisure time in your neighborhood and make friends with your neighbors. Invite people to your home on a regular basis and spend life together. These are all steps to building community and inviting new people into that community.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Learning From The Adoption Process
Those of you who know Shay and I know that we are "somewhere" in the adoption process. I wanted to do something different with this posting by sharing some of what I am learning through this process so far. As you will see, I think there is a great leadership lesson what we are experiencing as we wait.
The background of this tale is that Shay and I started the paperwork for adoption from China 3+ years ago. When we started the paperwork, families were taking nine months to go from approval to travel to get their child. By the time our paperwork was approved, families at that moment were waiting twelve months. We have been waiting almost 30 months since our paperwork was approved.
Here is what I have learned: adoption takes a long time! Just kidding.
I think I have learned a couple of important lessons as we have navigated this process so far. The first lesson is on patience. I have never been a patient person. I get bored easily on many things, so waiting around is not one of my strong points. I'm not known as a patient person.
As the months have accumulated, I realized God may be trying to teach me something. So, I decided to do a little word study on patience. I realized that patience is an attribute of God. It is most often associated with His desire to forgive, but it is used in how He deals with His children when they are disobedient as well.
Since God desires that I be conformed into the image of His Son, God has used this experience to develop this attribute in my life. As I have had the discussion with people over the last few months about the adoption process, many have commented at how patient Shay and I have been throughout the process. In other words, people are seeing in me (Shay was already a patient person) an attribute of God that was not present before this experience. (Kind of cool if you think about it.)
Which leads to the other thing I've learned and the leadership lesson for all of us. I did not set out to develop patience. Heck, I never pray and ask God for patience. I figure the only way He can answer that prayer is to make me wait on something, which I don't like to do. Yet, God has developed this attribute in me.
How? Shay and I had already settled a couple of important issues at the beginning of the adoption process. We knew God had clearly called us to adopt, and He called us to adopt from China. Once those items were settled, the process and timing was out of our hands. We were responsible to say "Yes" to adopting and to discern where He wanted us to adopt from. Everything else, like timing and processes, are tools in accomplishing the mission. Waiting does not seem like an "optional" part of the process since it is part of adopting from China (not that we knew the wait time in advance.) I did not even recognize it as patience until recently because my focus has been on the mission of getting our child from China, not the circumstances surrounding the process.
This is the crux of the lesson. If you know what God has called you to do (mission/vision), then everything else that occurs is part of the process of helping you toward fulfilling the mission. Some of that stuff will be positive and some of it negative, but none of it catches God by surprise.
Victor Frankl wrote one of the greatest books I have ever read, Man's Search For Meaning, that touches on this issue. Though not a Christian, he identifies that every person needs a future hope to help him live in the present. Frankl was a prisoner in a concentration camp during World War II. He talks about how a person with a why can endure almost any how.
Shay and I can endure the wait time because our focus is on what lies at the end of the wait, Elizabeth. We are focused on the mission assigned to us. For us, the wait time is part of accomplishing the mission. If we didn't have the "payoff" at the end of the wait time, we would have quit a long time ago.
I would suggest you determine what your "whys" are in your life. What is your mission? Let God show you that and decide to pursue that mission(s) whole-heartedly. You will be able to endure any of the obstacles is you know what the target is at the end of the journey.
The same is true for your work. Be clear as to what the mission/vision for your work is and pursue it. Decisions should be filtered through the question, "Does this help me accomplish the mission or hurt me in accomplishing the mission?" A "yes" answer means you should pursue that option, and a "no" answer means you reject that option.
Mission/vision are critical in accomplishing the purposes God has for your life. Once you settle these issues, the obstacles and roadblocks seem much less daunting and discouraging.
The background of this tale is that Shay and I started the paperwork for adoption from China 3+ years ago. When we started the paperwork, families were taking nine months to go from approval to travel to get their child. By the time our paperwork was approved, families at that moment were waiting twelve months. We have been waiting almost 30 months since our paperwork was approved.
Here is what I have learned: adoption takes a long time! Just kidding.
I think I have learned a couple of important lessons as we have navigated this process so far. The first lesson is on patience. I have never been a patient person. I get bored easily on many things, so waiting around is not one of my strong points. I'm not known as a patient person.
As the months have accumulated, I realized God may be trying to teach me something. So, I decided to do a little word study on patience. I realized that patience is an attribute of God. It is most often associated with His desire to forgive, but it is used in how He deals with His children when they are disobedient as well.
Since God desires that I be conformed into the image of His Son, God has used this experience to develop this attribute in my life. As I have had the discussion with people over the last few months about the adoption process, many have commented at how patient Shay and I have been throughout the process. In other words, people are seeing in me (Shay was already a patient person) an attribute of God that was not present before this experience. (Kind of cool if you think about it.)
Which leads to the other thing I've learned and the leadership lesson for all of us. I did not set out to develop patience. Heck, I never pray and ask God for patience. I figure the only way He can answer that prayer is to make me wait on something, which I don't like to do. Yet, God has developed this attribute in me.
How? Shay and I had already settled a couple of important issues at the beginning of the adoption process. We knew God had clearly called us to adopt, and He called us to adopt from China. Once those items were settled, the process and timing was out of our hands. We were responsible to say "Yes" to adopting and to discern where He wanted us to adopt from. Everything else, like timing and processes, are tools in accomplishing the mission. Waiting does not seem like an "optional" part of the process since it is part of adopting from China (not that we knew the wait time in advance.) I did not even recognize it as patience until recently because my focus has been on the mission of getting our child from China, not the circumstances surrounding the process.
This is the crux of the lesson. If you know what God has called you to do (mission/vision), then everything else that occurs is part of the process of helping you toward fulfilling the mission. Some of that stuff will be positive and some of it negative, but none of it catches God by surprise.
Victor Frankl wrote one of the greatest books I have ever read, Man's Search For Meaning, that touches on this issue. Though not a Christian, he identifies that every person needs a future hope to help him live in the present. Frankl was a prisoner in a concentration camp during World War II. He talks about how a person with a why can endure almost any how.
Shay and I can endure the wait time because our focus is on what lies at the end of the wait, Elizabeth. We are focused on the mission assigned to us. For us, the wait time is part of accomplishing the mission. If we didn't have the "payoff" at the end of the wait time, we would have quit a long time ago.
I would suggest you determine what your "whys" are in your life. What is your mission? Let God show you that and decide to pursue that mission(s) whole-heartedly. You will be able to endure any of the obstacles is you know what the target is at the end of the journey.
The same is true for your work. Be clear as to what the mission/vision for your work is and pursue it. Decisions should be filtered through the question, "Does this help me accomplish the mission or hurt me in accomplishing the mission?" A "yes" answer means you should pursue that option, and a "no" answer means you reject that option.
Mission/vision are critical in accomplishing the purposes God has for your life. Once you settle these issues, the obstacles and roadblocks seem much less daunting and discouraging.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Review of Wide Awake by Erwin McManus
Erwin McManus' latest book is a return to the style and perspective of his previous offerings, which is issuing the call for Christians to live a joy-filled, purposeful life. He has a very easy style to read, and I found myself finding several great nuggets of truth throughout the book.
Using Scripture and stories, he paints the picture that there are eight attributes that believers must exhibit to live a life wide awake.
- Dream
- Discover
- Adapt
- Expect
- Focus
- Create
- Enjoy
- Invest
A couple of quotes that really grabbed my attention point to the need of moving from comfort to significance.:
"We have confused comfort with peace, belief with faith, safety with wisdom, wealth with blessing, and existence with life. And for many of us, our dreams will be buried under the epitaph, 'I refused to let go of what I had.'" (p. 106)
"A life of expectations sometimes brings great public success, but sometimes God glorifies himself and finds the greatest honor from our lives when we are willing to fail in the eyes of others simply by doing what is right even if it means losing our perceived value to the world. Faith is not measured by success but by faithfulness." (p. 112)
The chapter on invest was interesting because it is about the importance of investing in others. Our greatest impact is found in pouring our lives into others, for it is through others that we can multiply our impact and store up treasures in heaven.
"If you live a life of self-importance, you won't find many people who want to help you when your life starts falling apart. We must make a personal commitment that our goals, ambitions, and dreams will never overtake our value for people." (p. 221)
I would highly recommend this book. The caveat for others would be to understand Erwin is a bit of a "free spirit." For a logical, conventional person like myself, his artistic-bent presses me to think and observe differently. I like this stretching of my perspective, but you may feel uncomfortable at first with this different way of viewing things.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Small Group Covenants
At the conference last week, Russ Robinson mentioned the covenant that his small group uses as a guideline for group life. Thanks to the initiative of Debbie Christie, I have posted a copy of that covenant below. In addition to that covenant, I have included a couple of other covenants in pdf. format.
The group covenant is an interesting tool. It is meant to give everyone in the group a clear understanding of the expectations and responsibilities for the group. This allows everyone to be on the "same page" when it comes to what group life will be like.
In my own group, we went over group expectations such as confidentiality, openness, authenticity, fellowships, and being on time. My shortcoming in regard to the covenant was not putting it in writing, although we do touch on the topic about once a quarter.
If you are a new group, you should certainly use a covenant. It is a great way to get your group started and gives you great shot at being healthy from the beginning. If you are a current group, it is a little more difficult to add a covenant but is certainly worth the effort. I would suggest you modify one of the included covenants to make it your own. The more personalized it is for your specific group, the more effective it will be in guiding the group.
Russ' small group covenant
Other small group covenant (Willow Creek)
The group covenant is an interesting tool. It is meant to give everyone in the group a clear understanding of the expectations and responsibilities for the group. This allows everyone to be on the "same page" when it comes to what group life will be like.
In my own group, we went over group expectations such as confidentiality, openness, authenticity, fellowships, and being on time. My shortcoming in regard to the covenant was not putting it in writing, although we do touch on the topic about once a quarter.
If you are a new group, you should certainly use a covenant. It is a great way to get your group started and gives you great shot at being healthy from the beginning. If you are a current group, it is a little more difficult to add a covenant but is certainly worth the effort. I would suggest you modify one of the included covenants to make it your own. The more personalized it is for your specific group, the more effective it will be in guiding the group.
Russ' small group covenant
Other small group covenant (Willow Creek)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)