Lifeway has a good article about 10 skills needed to be a good listener. As a small group leader, the ability to be a good listener can make you more effective as a teacher and leader. The ten items listed are simple, but they serve as a good reminder of what is necessary to listening well. Click on the title above to read the article.
A couple of other thoughts may help you become better at listening to others. Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk. It can be easy to use the time the other person is talking to formulate what you are going to say next. Don't do it! Instead, concentrate intently on what the person is saying picking out key terms.
Another key skill in listening is paying attention with your eyes. What you do with your eyes helps in two ways. By making eye contact with the speaker, you are acknowledging to them that they matter. Secondly, keeping your eyes on the speaker focuses your attention and helps you pick-up visual cues the person is communicating. Visual cues may help you discern issues like passion or truthfulness.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Distracted by "The Naked Truth"
I read a great article in the Times Online (U.K.) that is a fascinating study on how we are distracted. The context of the article is the current political events happening in the U.K.. Due to the troubles in the economy and in the political arena, business people and politicians are being exposed to greater scrutiny than ever before. This opinion piece gives the authors perspective of what is happening because of this greater scrutiny.
You can click on the title above to read the article for yourself. I want to draw your attention to the spiritual lesson we can learn from this commentary. As the author points out, it is easy to let the spectacle of transparency to become very distracting. What is especially striking is her admission that in doing a story at a nudist colony, "It became impossible to take anyone seriously and I couldn't concentrate on any conversation." The issue of transparency became all-consuming, leading to the inability to move on to important matters.
As Christians, it is easy for us to fall into this trap. We look at the problems going on around us, personal, relational, financial, etc. and become fixated on the circumstances. We never look to see where God is working, nor do we return to the Lord to continue the relationship. All we do is concentrate on the problem. For military pilots, this is known as "target fixation," with the idea that a fighter pilot focuses so much on the target, that he will forget about his own safety and fly right into the target.
One of the easiest ways to live a miserable life as a Christian is to focus on your circumstances. Peter stepped out of the boat and started walking on water after Jesus invited Peter to come to him. Peter was fine, as long as he kept his focus on Jesus. The moment he focused on his circumstances, he began to sink. The challenge for you and me is to be aware of our circumstances, because God wants to work in and through us as we navigate the events of our lives. On the other hand, we cannot be focused on the circumstances. Rather, we need to continually return to our relationship with Christ, knowing that our circumstances will be resolved as we walk with Christ.
You can click on the title above to read the article for yourself. I want to draw your attention to the spiritual lesson we can learn from this commentary. As the author points out, it is easy to let the spectacle of transparency to become very distracting. What is especially striking is her admission that in doing a story at a nudist colony, "It became impossible to take anyone seriously and I couldn't concentrate on any conversation." The issue of transparency became all-consuming, leading to the inability to move on to important matters.
As Christians, it is easy for us to fall into this trap. We look at the problems going on around us, personal, relational, financial, etc. and become fixated on the circumstances. We never look to see where God is working, nor do we return to the Lord to continue the relationship. All we do is concentrate on the problem. For military pilots, this is known as "target fixation," with the idea that a fighter pilot focuses so much on the target, that he will forget about his own safety and fly right into the target.
One of the easiest ways to live a miserable life as a Christian is to focus on your circumstances. Peter stepped out of the boat and started walking on water after Jesus invited Peter to come to him. Peter was fine, as long as he kept his focus on Jesus. The moment he focused on his circumstances, he began to sink. The challenge for you and me is to be aware of our circumstances, because God wants to work in and through us as we navigate the events of our lives. On the other hand, we cannot be focused on the circumstances. Rather, we need to continually return to our relationship with Christ, knowing that our circumstances will be resolved as we walk with Christ.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Postmodernism Versus Truth
In the book Whatever Happened To Truth, there are a series of essays which discuss the issue of truth in our postmodern society. Each of the articles are well written, although one of the essays uses so much technical language that I feel like I'm reading a foreign language. One of the essays was written by one of my favorite cultural observers, Al Mohler, Jr.
The essay is simply titled, Truth and Contemporary Culture. In it, Dr. Mohler discusses how the rise of postmodern thought is challenging today's western culture. I offer you this list of challenges faced by the church makes to help you pick-up on where the struggles are occurring in our culture today.
I would challenge you to think about each of these points. Now that you have an idea of where the struggle lies between Christianity and culture, you should be able to see how postmodernity is being promoted/accommodate within society. An example, how a show like Oprah is more concerned about making people feel good about a subject, rather than exposing the truth about the subject.
The essay is simply titled, Truth and Contemporary Culture. In it, Dr. Mohler discusses how the rise of postmodern thought is challenging today's western culture. I offer you this list of challenges faced by the church makes to help you pick-up on where the struggles are occurring in our culture today.
- A deconstruction of truth (the notion that there is no absolute truth, rather, truth is up to the individual) p. 58
- The death of the meta-narrative (the idea that there is not a over-arching story [or transcendent truth] that defines our existence) p. 59
- The demise of the text (any given text gains meaning from the reader not the author of the text) p. 60
- The dominion of therapy (people are concerned about what makes them feel good, rather than truth) p.61
- The decline of authority (rejection of all authority since authority is designed to keep the people in subjection) p. 62
- The displacement of morality (if there is no truth or authority, then there is no anchor on which to base morality) p. 63
I would challenge you to think about each of these points. Now that you have an idea of where the struggle lies between Christianity and culture, you should be able to see how postmodernity is being promoted/accommodate within society. An example, how a show like Oprah is more concerned about making people feel good about a subject, rather than exposing the truth about the subject.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
It's About Relationships Stupid!
There is a great article posted on the Baptist Press website that is essential reading for all Christians. Dr. Henry Blackaby is one of my favorite authors, and he discusses what is needed for our churches and country to get back on the right track.
What makes this a great article is the spiritual discernment and authenticity of Dr. Blackaby. He echoes the words of 2 Chronicles 7:14-15
Revival is never about "them", but about "me." A wise pastor once told me, "If you want to see revival start in the world, then you need to draw a circle, and kneel in the center of the circle. Pray and ask God for revival to take place in that circle. When revival starts there, then you can begin to widen your circle." Revival must start personally then move to the church. Only then can revival move to the "outside" world.
My hope is that you will react to the article the same way I did: fall on your knees and pray.
What makes this a great article is the spiritual discernment and authenticity of Dr. Blackaby. He echoes the words of 2 Chronicles 7:14-15
and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. Now my eyes shall be open and my ears attentive to the prayer offered in this place.Like many people, I have not been happy with the direction our country has been going, especially over the last year. The tendency is for us to look out over the events and complain about all that is wrong with "those people." Of course, "those people" are the persons that are causing all the problems. The real disconnect is not with "those people" but with God's people. As Blackaby keenly observes, we want to lay the blame for a lack of revival (a renewing of God's movement among people) at the feet of everyone but to whom it belongs: ourselves.
Revival is never about "them", but about "me." A wise pastor once told me, "If you want to see revival start in the world, then you need to draw a circle, and kneel in the center of the circle. Pray and ask God for revival to take place in that circle. When revival starts there, then you can begin to widen your circle." Revival must start personally then move to the church. Only then can revival move to the "outside" world.
My hope is that you will react to the article the same way I did: fall on your knees and pray.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Communicating Clearly
Well, it has been a couple of weeks since I posted on this blog. I'm sorry for not updating recently, but I have been a little overwhelmed with school work. The strain on my time has had some excellent benefits though. I have been reading voraciously over the last week. One of the books I read last weekend was an excellent book on communication.
The book is focused on the issue of writing with clarity and readability, and the book has had a significant effect on my thinking. (You will need to determine if it has helped my writing.) Most significantly, the book has challenged my thinking in the way I think about writing. Too many people never consider how they communicate determines the effectiveness of what the writer (or speaker) is trying to communicate.
Effective communication is more than just dumping the content on to the recipient. The communicator must consider how the recipient will receive the information (what terms will most effectively communicate this information?), as well as consider what questions may be offered by the recipient. When an author "invites" the reader into the process of writing, the end product will be much more effective at connecting with the reader.
I would like to offer a challenge to you as a leader. Leaders need to consider whether or not they are communicating in a manner that encourages others to learn and follow. You should seek to be a better communicator. You will reap benefits at work, home, and at church. I will be a struggling sojourner along with you in this quest to improve my communication skills.
The book is focused on the issue of writing with clarity and readability, and the book has had a significant effect on my thinking. (You will need to determine if it has helped my writing.) Most significantly, the book has challenged my thinking in the way I think about writing. Too many people never consider how they communicate determines the effectiveness of what the writer (or speaker) is trying to communicate.
Effective communication is more than just dumping the content on to the recipient. The communicator must consider how the recipient will receive the information (what terms will most effectively communicate this information?), as well as consider what questions may be offered by the recipient. When an author "invites" the reader into the process of writing, the end product will be much more effective at connecting with the reader.
I would like to offer a challenge to you as a leader. Leaders need to consider whether or not they are communicating in a manner that encourages others to learn and follow. You should seek to be a better communicator. You will reap benefits at work, home, and at church. I will be a struggling sojourner along with you in this quest to improve my communication skills.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)